TL; DR Version: I got treatment today! I am almost 3/4 through the first round of chemo/immunotherapy. Numbers were all good this week on both draws. Be sure to rest and take care of yourself, I’m doing more learning here (nothing bad happened it was a good learning experience. FOMO is real.). My eyebrows and eyelashes seem to be exiting finally. Thank you!!
Well, treatment #9 is done. Now I wait, I generally feel worst on “Day 3” aka Saturdays, but at this point in the treatment particularly, it shouldn’t be too bad since it’s the last week of a cycle. For the 1 drug weeks I’m really lucky, the majority of the side effects are fatigue and the slow motion. Not as many of the GI side effects as with 3 drugs.
This does feel like an accomplishment even though I still need to get through the weekend. I have received 3/4 of the 1st round of chemo & immunotherapy. While I definitely see how things are cumulative, the reservoir of energy is less, I’m having more trouble sleeping, and a few other things, it’s ok. (The nurses think the sleeping bit is due to the fact that I may not be flushing the steroid they give me each week in the IV as quickly as I had been. I admittedly am more consistently drinking 2 qts of water a day vs 3 and so they recommended I really try to up the water to 3 so I’ll try that…sleep is crucial!) I am grateful it has gone so well and I feel very lucky.
Next week I see the Oncologist and get the scoop for the final cycle of this treatment round. I’m also hoping to get some feedback on what the next set of treatment looks like more specifically. I know they want to wait to tell you more, but we all know I want to plan ahead if they’ll let me. I also will be meeting with the surgeon to learn more about those next steps.
Other highlights of the week was 2 rounds of stat labs which was fantastic. Also wonderful, my labs were good both times so I didn’t need any injections. Sadly, I’m back to standard labs for next week so we’ll see how this goes.
I wanted to share something I was proud of myself for this week. I thought it was worth sharing because I suspect that others may too need the reminder that this is ok; even if you’re not sick and going through chemo. It’s something that I’m continually learning and I’ve never been good at…listening to my body and resting. I have always been a “I can power through” type of person for the most part. If I’m doing something interesting and I’m tired, even if I don’t really need to, my choice is usually to power through vs. rest.
On Tuesday morning the alarm went off and I simply knew I needed more sleep. I snoozed for an hour. An hour later the situation was the same, I knew I needed more sleep. I sent an email letting everyone know I needed more rest and went back to sleep without an alarm. I woke up a few hours later on my own and got ready for and went to work. The world did not end. Anymore that it has ended any other time I’ve missed something personally or professionally since when I have prioritized making sure my body and I have time to heal. (Both before cancer and now with cancer.) As in…it’s all fine. I hope this helps someone remember this…you have to have energy to help others and do the things you love, if you don’t allow yourself and your body time to heal you can’t actually give of yourself and do those things for yourself and others. FOMO sometimes drives us too far and it’s ok to rest…even if you don’t have cancer. I’ve been hearing this for years from those I care about and experts…and I’m honestly terrible at this. I’d be lying if I said I’d fully learned this lesson and was a changed person…I’m not, but it was one micro step I hope to take with me after I’m done beating this. I’ll have to practice it a lot before I can really do it easily, but…maybe if you need to you can practice too and there can be encouragement knowing you’re not alone. (I also read this article on FOMO a couple of months ago and found it helpful, I have lots of FOMO right now since I’m hiding a bit and my life has changed a lot…maybe if you have FOMO sometimes it will help you too.)
One other interesting thing. I haven’t fully lost all of my hair yet. There’s not much left and I have very sparsely dispersed short hairs that tend to stick straight up and out. It’s a bit comical really. We’ve been joking about these “strong follicles” as they are just going strong, I could probably use a small haircut. I’ve also kept a lot of my eyebrows and eyelashes. That’s changing. I’m not really noticing a lot with the hair on my head, but I’ve noticed this week that I’m missing part of an eyebrow and they are looking more sparse in general and my eyelashes are more patchy. (I accidentally took a small chunk of one eyelash set out a few weeks ago and I don’t really know how…) This will be a change, I know a lot of people say you can’t see them unless if I’ve dyed them or am wearing makeup, but I see them very keenly. It was nice having the eyebrows and eyelashes…made me feel like I was just wearing a hat. I’m sure I will get used to it, many have before me. I’m actually mostly concerned about figuring out how to take my contacts in and out without my eyelashes to assist. Even with the increased eye dryness, I prefer my contacts if I’m leaving home as I see much better and it’s just easier. (Although I did buy RX sunglasses for this reason!) I’m terrible with learning about putting contacts in. When I first started wearing hard lenses I never properly learned in HS and it took a lot of patience from the folks at the University Health Service when I finally decided I was going to figure it out. The switch to soft a couple of years ago was no better, I think I made 5 or 6 trips to the eye doctor’s before they let me take them home. So, this could be interesting…but, I’ll figure it out.
We are making significant progress! This is in large part due to the support, prayers, positive thoughts, check-ins, rides, meals, and everything we are blessed with from all of you. We couldn’t be more grateful – thank you for being our village! Thank you for reading these posts. They are very therapeutic and help me a lot – I hope that you find them interesting and gain new knowledge and perspective. I also hope that someday they will help someone else going through cancer or someone who loves someone going through cancer.
The now “standard” note at the end of posts for website navigation help:
Thank you for taking time to keep up with us and see how we’re doing as well as all the help! Because, I think like me, much of the world does nearly everything on their phones…I’m adding this note to the end of posts to make website navigation easier if you are on a phone. If you’d like to read other journal entries, please click here (oldest post is at the bottom of the page). There’s also a “hamburger” menu in the top right of the webpage that can help you navigate between the journal, ways to help page, stay in touch, and welcome pages. Please know that reading this page and thinking of us is help! Thank you for your support in all forms! If you have any issues, please email [email protected].
Thanks for your blog, nice to read. Do not stop.