Surgery #2 is 6/19/2023

TL;DR: Life feels a lot more normal which is nice. Emotionally I’m feeling stronger and more stable. Surgery #2 is planned for 6/19. If you are inclined, I would be grateful for your thoughts and prayers on the 19th.

It’s been awhile since my last post, things have almost been “normal” for the last few weeks and it’s nice to have that even if “normal” doesn’t feel quite comfortable anymore. It’s odd, but I have to get used to it again. For a year my life was very prescribed and very different from what it had been. I got used to that “new” life and so while now life is less like that new life which is good, it still feels a bit strange sometimes.

What I mean by life is nearly normal again is that I’ve been working full-time for a month or so, seeing friends, doing activities on the weekends and sometimes during the week, so it feels like I’m doing more normal things which is good. There’s still immunotherapy to do every 3 weeks and way more doctors appointments than I had before, but things do feel a bit more like they were before even if I’m not the same person who was before I had cancer. (Only three more immunotherapy/Keytruda treatments – yay!)

I think the biggest thing is I’m still getting to know who this new Kathryn is and it’s going to take time to figure out what she’s like…I’m definitely not the same, but I can’t imagine I would be after such an experience so I need to be patient with myself through this process. It seems a bit weird that the “getting to know myself again” process is not fast, but I guess it never is so…

Emotionally I’ve been much better over the last few weeks so that’s been a good thing as well. It’s comforting to feel a bit more stable and like things were.

Surgery #2, the hysterectomy & oophorectomy is planned for the 19th. I’m very ready for it to be over. Similar to the feelings before the last surgery, I am glad I’m doing it, but I’m not particularly glad to be actually going through it. I’m nervous and it feels weird that they’re going to remove what are seemingly fully healthy organs. It’s also been a bit weird/hard waiting and waiting for the date to be here. I guess that’s a bit what it was like last time too but I’m not so great at this waiting game even though I largely drove this surgery date myself.

I’m not doing as much as I did before the last surgery to prep for surgery. I think all the healing meditations I did before the last surgery stressed me out a bit because I was very focused on doing it 2x a day because that’s what the book said to do. I’ve decided not to do that this time. I might do the meditations a little bit next weekend right before the surgery, but it’s too much to do with everything I’ve got going on right now with work and normal life. (There are days I’m not really sure how I did normal life before cancer, but I’m trying, and I’m mostly getting there so I think that’s good.)

My surgery is at 1300 on the 19th. I don’t have to be at the hospital until 1100 so it’s nice that I don’t have to be there first thing early in the morning but I have a feeling I am going to be super hungry by the time they take me in which is a little bit of a bummer. Oh well, it can’t be helped as the schedule is what it is. My surgeon said that it’s an 80% chance that my surgery will be fully outpatient and I’ll be home the same day. Part of me wishes I was staying in the hospital for a night, but I keep reminding myself that it will be nice to sleep in my own bed right after. This surgery is much shorter than the last one at 2-3 hours vs. the 10 or so the previous surgery was.

if you pray and/or send positive thoughts I would be most grateful for the following prayers, positive thoughts, and support on Monday the 19th and beyond.

• Guidance of the entire surgical and hospital team that the surgery and hospital recovery will go well including particularly:
  • Bleeding is minimized
  • There is no infection
• At 1230 PT on Monday, 6/19, I’d like to ask that you please envision wrapping me in blue blanket of love and peace so that I will be relaxed and calm as I enter surgery (Surgery is at 1300 PT)
• A comfortable and swift recovery

Thank you everyone for all you do to continue to support us in this journey – we are so grateful for all of you! (We’ll try to get something up here pretty quick post surgery to let everyone know how it all went; it may take us a day or so though so thank you for your patience!)

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